DICAEOPOLIS

No, not a particle; go a-weeping elsewhere.

HUSBANDMAN

Oh! oh! oh! my poor beasts!

CHORUS

This man has discovered the sweetest enjoyment in peace; he will share it

with none.

DICAEOPOLIS

Pour honey over this tripe; set it before the fire to dry.

CHORUS

What lofty tones he uses! Did you hear him?

DICAEOPOLIS

Get the eels on the gridiron!

CHORUS

You are killing me with hunger; your smoke is choking your

neighbours, and you split our ears with your bawling.

DICAEOPOLIS

Have this fried and let it be nicely browned.

A BRIDESMAID

Dicaeopolis! Dicaeopolis!

DICAEOPOLIS

Who are you?

BRIDESMAID

A young bridegroom sends you these viands from the marriage feast.

DICAEOPOLIS

Whoever he be, I thank him.

BRIDESMAID

And in return, he prays you to pour a glass of peace into this vase,

that he may not have to go to the front and may stay at home

to do his duty to his young wife.

DICAEOPOLIS

Take back, take back your viands; for a thousand drachmae I

would not give a drop of peace; but who are you, pray?

BRIDESMAID

I am the bridesmaid; she wants to say something to you

from the bride privately.

DICAEOPOLIS

Come, what do you wish to say? (THE BRIDESMAID WHISPERS IN

HIS EAR.) Ah! what a ridiculous demand! The bride burns with longing

to keep by her her husband's weapon. Come! \bring hither my truce; to

her alone will I give some of it, for she is a woman, and, as such,

should not suffer under the war. Here, friend, reach hither your vial.

And as to the manner of applying this balm, tell the bride, when a

levy of soldiers is made to rub some in bed on her husband, where

most needed. There, slave, take away my truce! Now, quick, bring me

the wine-flagon, that I may fill up the drinking bowls!

CHORUS

I see a man, striding along apace, with knitted brows; he seems

to us the bearer of terrible tidings.

HERALD

Oh! toils and battles, 'tis Lamachus!

LAMACHUS

What noise resounds around my dwelling, where shines the glint

of arms.

HERALD

The Generals order you forthwith to take your battalions and

your plumes, and, despite the snow, to go and guard our borders.

They have learnt that a band of Boeotians intend taking advantage

of the Feast of Cups to invade our country.

LAMACHUS

Ah! the Generals! they are numerous, but not good for much!

It's cruel, not to be able to enjoy the feast!

DICAEOPOLIS

Oh! warlike host of Lamachus!

LAMACHUS

Wretch! do you dare to jeer me?

DICAEOPOLIS

Do you want to fight this four-winged Geryon?

LAMACHUS

Oh! oh! what fearful tidings!

DICAEOPOLIS

Ah! ah! I see another herald running up; what news does he bring me?

HERALD

Dicaeopolis!

DICAEOPOLIS

What is the matter?

HERALD

Come quickly to the feast and bring your basket and your cup;

'tis the priest of Bacchus who invites you. But hasten, the guests

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