MEGARIAN

They are born of the same father and mother; let them be fattened,

let them grow their bristles, and they will be the finest sows you can

offer to Aphrodite.

DICAEOPOLIS

But sows are not immolated to Aphrodite.

MEGARIAN

Not sows to Aphrodite! Why, 'tis the only goddess to whom they

are offered! the flesh of my sows will be excellent on the spit.

DICAEOPOLIS

Can they eat alone? They no longer need their mother!

MEGARIAN

Certainly not, nor their father.

DICAEOPOLIS

What do they like most?

MEGARIAN

Whatever is given them; but ask for yourself.

DICAEOPOLIS

Speak! little sow.

DAUGHTER

Wee-wee, wee-wee!

DICAEOPOLIS

Can you eat chick-pease?

DAUGHTER

Wee-wee, wee-wee, wee-wee!

DICAEOPOLIS

And Attic figs?

DAUGHTER

Wee-wee, wee-wee!

DICAEOPOLIS

What sharp squeaks at the name of figs. Come, let some figs be

brought for these little pigs. Will they eat them? Goodness! how

they munch them, what a grinding of teeth, mighty Heracles! I

believe those pigs hail from the land of the Voracians. But surely

'tis impossible they have bolted all the figs!

MEGARIAN

Yes, certainly, bar this one that I took from them.

DICAEOPOLIS

Ah! what funny creatures! For what sum will you sell them?

MEGARIAN

I will give you one for a bunch of garlic, and the other, if you

like, for a quart measure of salt.

DICAEOPOLIS

I buy them of you. Wait for me here.

MEGARIAN

The deal is done. Hermes, god of good traders, grant I may sell

both my wife and my mother in the same way!

AN INFORMER

Hi! fellow, what countryman are you?

MEGARIAN

I am a pig-merchant from Megara.

INFORMER

I shall denounce both your pigs and yourself as public enemies.

MEGARIAN

Ah! here our troubles begin afresh!

INFORMER

Let go that sack. I will punish your Megarian lingo![1]

f[1] The Megarians used the Doric dialect.

MEGARIAN

Dicaeopolis, Dicaeopolis, they want to denounce me.

DICAEOPOLIS

Who dares do this thing? Inspectors, drive out the informers.

Ah! you offer to enlighten us without a lamp![1]

f[1] A play upon [a] word which both means 'to light' and 'to denounce.'

INFORMER

What! I may not denounce our enemies?

DICAEOPOLIS

Have a care for yourself, if you don't go off pretty quick to denounce

elsewhere.

MEGARIAN

What a plague to Athens!

DICAEOPOLIS

Be reassured, Megarian. Here is the price for your two swine,

the garlic and the salt. Farewell and much happiness!

MEGARIAN

Ah! we never have that amongst us.

DICAEOPOLIS

Well! may the inopportune wish apply to myself.

MEGARIAN

Farewell, dear little sows, and seek, far from your father, to

munch your bread with salt, if they give you any.

CHORUS

Here is a man truly happy. See how everything succeeds to his

wish. Peacefully seated in his market, he will earn his living; woe to

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