Dicaeopolis. Where is be? Dicaeopolis, do you want to buy

some nice little porkers?

DICAEOPOLIS

Who are you? a Megarian?

MEGARIAN

I have come to your market.

DICAEOPOLIS

Well, how are things at Megara?[1]

f[1] Megara was allied to Sparta and suffered during the war more than

any other city because of its proximity to Athens.

MEGARIAN

We are crying with hunger at our firesides.

DICAEOPOLIS

The fireside is jolly enough with a piper. But what else is

doing at Megara, eh?

MEGARIAN

What else? When I left for the market, the authorities were taking

steps to let us die in the quickest manner.

DICAEOPOLIS

That is the best way to get you out of all your troubles.

MEGARIAN

True.

DICAEOPOLIS

What other news of Megara? What is wheat selling at?

MEGARIAN

With us it is valued as highly as the very gods in heaven!

DICAEOPOLIS

Is it salt that you are bringing?

MEGARIAN

Are you not holding back the salt?

DICAEOPOLIS

'Tis garlic then?

MEGARIAN

What! garlic! do you not at every raid grub up the ground with your

pikes to pull out every single head?

DICAEOPOLIS

What DO you bring then?

MEGARIAN

Little sows, like those they immolate at the Mysteries.

DICAEOPOLIS

Ah! very well, show me them.

MEGARIAN

They are very fine; feel their weight. See! how fat and fine.

DICAEOPOLIS

But what is this?

MEGARIAN

A SOW, for a certainty.[1]

f[1] Throughout this whole scene there is an obscene play upon [a] word

which means in Greek both 'sow' and 'a woman's organs of generation.'

DICAEOPOLIS

You say a sow! Of what country, then?

MEGARIAN

From Megara. What! is it not a sow then?

DICAEOPOLIS

No, I don't believe it is.

MEGARIAN

This is too much! what an incredulous man! He says 'tis not a sow;

but we will stake, an you will, a measure of salt ground up with

thyme, that in good Greek this is called a sow and nothing else.

DICAEOPOLIS

But a sow of the human kind.

MEGARIAN

Without question, by Diocles! of my own breed! Well! What think

you? will you hear them squeal?

DICAEOPOLIS

Well, yes, I' faith, I will.

MEGARIAN

Cry quickly, wee sowlet; squeak up, hussy, or by Hermes! I take you

back to the house.

GIRL

Wee-wee, wee-wee!

MEGARIAN

Is that a little sow, or not?

DICAEOPOLIS

Yes, it seems so; but let it grow up, and it will be a fine fat bitch.

MEGARIAN

In five years it will be just like its mother.

DICAEOPOLIS

But it cannot be sacrificed.

MEGARIAN

And why not?

DICAEOPOLIS

It has no tail.[1]

f[1] Sacrificial victims were bound to be perfect in every part; an animal,

therefore, without a tail could not be offered.

MEGARIAN

Because it is quite young, but in good time it will have a big one,

thick and red.

DICAEOPOLIS

The two are as like as two peas.

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